Back story:There was this guy i dated in High school who was like the perfect BF for like 3 yrears. He as a good Catholic boy.. as much as our hormones were raging we never gave in (well not in the traditional sense). Anyways.. we broke up the summer after graduation cause he went off to college. But we still stayed in contact. The break up was really HARD on me.. i wanted nothing more than to be with him but i was trying to move on and i dated other people, and i kept it to myself and was still a good friend to him. After his 1st year of college he wanted me to pick him up to bring him home for the summer.. and we ending up giving in to our feelings that night (although by that time he wasnt my 1st but i was his). Then we were on and off for the summer. Then stopped talking.. I've always loved him but i let him go although i still used to think about him and i compared every relationship to ours or my boyfriends to him.. (that was almost 9 years ago).
Now i am in a kind of complicated relationship with someone who is EVERYTHING to me and i've ever wanted for the past year and a half, he's the sweetest guy ever. Honestly when him and I are together we make people sick cause its like a Nickolas Sparks Book/Movie, the sad part is IM NOT OVER EXAGGERATING. And i've honestly NEVER thought about my Ex since i've met him, im consumed of the love and compassion he gives me and i return to him. But last night i dreamed about my Ex out of nowhere.
Dream: I was at my house, and there was a knock on the door. It was my Ex and he said he wanted to talk to me. I let him in and he was telling me how he still loves me and that he's thought about me everyday. He apologized for stop talking to me but he said it was hard to see a future with me when he was trying to get his life together, but now he knows it was a misake. After he was done talking i told him why did it take him so long, that i still loved him but i've already in-love with someone else. Then my boyfriend walked in and they talked (argued actually) and they wanted to give me reasons why i should choose them. It was like a presidental debate but over my heart. I was so confused. I really love my Ex, he was my 1st love but my boyfriend is all i've ever wanted in a relationship. At one point i started to question my own feelings. I was starting to fall back in love with my Ex, but when it came to the end of the dream, it was kind of like 'The Batchlor' (Which i DO NOT watch) i had both of them on either side of me, somewhere else that wasnt my house, waiting for me to choose. I chose my boyfriend now and my Ex still try to convince me otherwise, crying (Which i've only seen him do once when we 1st broke up) and promising me everything i wanted before with him. But i made up my mind, and i cried as i walked away.
Im so confused! I know its just a dream but i cant shake it out of my head.