Suiciding to wake up and ending up in another dream
Posted: August 12th, 2016, 3:15 pm
Premise: I am 25 yo, currently working abroad. I rarely drive cars irl because I'm used to move with other means. I haven't driven for 2 years now, so I'm not much confident about it anymore.
In the dream I had decided to drive my car, but at some point someone surpasses me and scratches the side of my car. Nothing too much worrysome. I stop at the sides of the roads, and I get called by my mother who is talking with someone else (and not with me) about how I am unfit for such thing and humiliating me in front of everyone (there wasn't anyone around me, but it felt like she was speaking to a global audience). It felt really crappy and frustrating, considering I'm being very successful in other areas of my life.
Then it struck me that it surely was a dream; an annoyingly and humiliating and degrading nightmare. I looked down from the side of the road: it was a cliff. So I jumped down, confident that I would have waken up. I didn't feel fear when jumping down, It was out of sheer will. When I hit the ground, I felt my body compressing, no pain. For a very brief moment my eyes blinked in real life, I could see the living room (I was sleeping in the sofa, in the living room irl) but I was instantly thrown ainside another dream.
The new dream didn't feel bad enough to need another suicide escape, so I went along with it. I was in another time (maybe 2100+), and I was being welcomed in this white and tidy facility immersed in a futuristic city with some greens here and there. It looked like it was "normal" for the dead to be reborn in that way, so I was being shown around. I was like some newly reborn patient. I felt relieved to be out of that humiliating nightmare. Death never was so appealing.
I guess my fear of failure, ridicule, humiliation is way stronger than the fear of pain or death. Way stronger.
Do you think the dream might mean something else?
In the dream I had decided to drive my car, but at some point someone surpasses me and scratches the side of my car. Nothing too much worrysome. I stop at the sides of the roads, and I get called by my mother who is talking with someone else (and not with me) about how I am unfit for such thing and humiliating me in front of everyone (there wasn't anyone around me, but it felt like she was speaking to a global audience). It felt really crappy and frustrating, considering I'm being very successful in other areas of my life.
Then it struck me that it surely was a dream; an annoyingly and humiliating and degrading nightmare. I looked down from the side of the road: it was a cliff. So I jumped down, confident that I would have waken up. I didn't feel fear when jumping down, It was out of sheer will. When I hit the ground, I felt my body compressing, no pain. For a very brief moment my eyes blinked in real life, I could see the living room (I was sleeping in the sofa, in the living room irl) but I was instantly thrown ainside another dream.
The new dream didn't feel bad enough to need another suicide escape, so I went along with it. I was in another time (maybe 2100+), and I was being welcomed in this white and tidy facility immersed in a futuristic city with some greens here and there. It looked like it was "normal" for the dead to be reborn in that way, so I was being shown around. I was like some newly reborn patient. I felt relieved to be out of that humiliating nightmare. Death never was so appealing.
I guess my fear of failure, ridicule, humiliation is way stronger than the fear of pain or death. Way stronger.
Do you think the dream might mean something else?