reoccurring themes here:
1. I was in an unfamiliar dark house looking out these giant glass patio doors. Outside was cluttered with outside household items. I thought to myself, "I feel a scary presence. I should be afraid of something, but there is nothing here to be afraid of." So I forced myself to be afraid of a big orange plastic toy car that I saw in the distance. A harmless children's toy!
I suddenly felt such a repulsion, fear and hatred to it which in my right mind I knew was absurd, and I felt my face contort and twist into an impulsive grimace. And I began to hiss repeatedly at it, just like a cat. This scared me the most.
I thought to myself, becoming lucid in the dream, "I remember doing this before. This is familiar."
It scared me - the feeling of losing impulse control and as if I was turning into a beast. Then I heard a cat screaming. It interrupted my dream and woke me up, and put me into sleep paralysis. When I woke up fully the sound was gone.
2. I'm somewhere dark. I think it might be Starbucks, but no one is there. At first I think I am alone, with my imaginary friend dressed up in a pillow. But then I see a clone of myself.
I suddenly feel so repulsed at myself, I hate what I see so much that I corner myself and stare into my face. I start to grin, and laugh, and make awful impulsive sounds. My grin spreads wide - so wide it feels like my face is going to break. My clone at first mimics me like a reflection in the mirror.
It feels and looks like my face has turned into something evil. I growl and hiss at myself.
And as I do this, I feel more out of control like face might actually break, and the fact that this feeling seems familiar, again scares the crap out of me. And then I proceed to stab my clone in the face, with my fingers which have sharp claws. I kill my clone this way, by mutilating its face, and it just sits there peacefully and then dies.
3. I'll keep this one short because I don't remember much about it. Basically, my mom keeps asking me if I am handicapped, and though I know I am not, I eventually get so upset that I again lose impulse control, and almost feeling as if i am having a a seizure, my body begins to move without me. I then begin to force myself to be handicapped just to harm her. I begin talking in a deformed voice and acting strange.
These dreams scare me a lot because of that weird feeling of losing control of my body. It seems to me as if I might have experienced how that feels in my past, but I don't remember. What does it all mean?